Hooray! A new version of Microsoft Office for Mac! The reason this is worth an upgrade is... is.... that it is an upgrade! Hooray for upgrades!
Just look at what they write about Word:
It is "powerful"! Hooray! Finally a powerful program. Just what I had been looking for. Some power. And not only any amount of power, but it is full of power. This is magnificent! Powerfulness to the user!
It makes it "easy to create great-looking documents". It is easy! Who'd have thought? It is 2015, more than thirty years after the first mainstream GUI was introduced, and Microsoft has introduced something that is "easy". I must have this product! A day without easiness is a lost day.
And the documents are "great-looking"! No matter the content, they will look great. Finally a tool that will help me make my upcoming Great American Novel look great. I can use designer-quality fonts. Not those rubbish fonts Charles Dickens used to use, but designer-quality fonts. Take that, Charlie!
Designer-quality colours will also help. The black of my text has never felt quite as full of designer-quality as I liked. Finally, in the year 2015 anno domini, Microsoft will help me with some designer-quality black.
And who is the person with all these insights in what new and important features to put into a writing tool? It is Kirk Koenigsbauer, corporate vice president for the Office Client Applications and Services team. He is in charge! And he thinks that powerful, easy, great-looking and designer quality are words that actually mean something.
Dear Kirk, I would really like to buy Office 2016. It is not that expensive. I could easily afford it. But please give me real reasons, and do not dilute them with all that wishy washy phluphph.
Just look at what they write about Word:
- Word’s powerful writing and reviewing tools make it easy to create great-looking documents. The new Design tab lets you easily apply designer-quality layouts, colors and fonts throughout your document.
It is "powerful"! Hooray! Finally a powerful program. Just what I had been looking for. Some power. And not only any amount of power, but it is full of power. This is magnificent! Powerfulness to the user!
It makes it "easy to create great-looking documents". It is easy! Who'd have thought? It is 2015, more than thirty years after the first mainstream GUI was introduced, and Microsoft has introduced something that is "easy". I must have this product! A day without easiness is a lost day.
And the documents are "great-looking"! No matter the content, they will look great. Finally a tool that will help me make my upcoming Great American Novel look great. I can use designer-quality fonts. Not those rubbish fonts Charles Dickens used to use, but designer-quality fonts. Take that, Charlie!
Designer-quality colours will also help. The black of my text has never felt quite as full of designer-quality as I liked. Finally, in the year 2015 anno domini, Microsoft will help me with some designer-quality black.
And who is the person with all these insights in what new and important features to put into a writing tool? It is Kirk Koenigsbauer, corporate vice president for the Office Client Applications and Services team. He is in charge! And he thinks that powerful, easy, great-looking and designer quality are words that actually mean something.
Dear Kirk, I would really like to buy Office 2016. It is not that expensive. I could easily afford it. But please give me real reasons, and do not dilute them with all that wishy washy phluphph.
Pathetic attempt at writing before Microsoft gave us designer-quality fonts.
